Luftwaffe, WTF? Oh, wait, I mean Lufthansa.

It was March of 2008 and I was on my way back from Italy, via Munich, Germany. It was 8 hours and 40 minutes of being stuck on a ginormous jet, zipping across the European continent and over the Atlantic Ocean back towards the East Coast of the United States. It was 8 hours and 40 minutes of being squashed in uncomfortable positions with no leg room, minimal food, and minimal drinks. I was doing my best not to look at my watch so that time would appear to move faster, but no matter what I did, time just crawled by, making it seem like I would never get back home.

Thankfully, we reached the North American coast and began our inevitable circling over Newark. I don't know what it was...maybe it was the circling, the length of time being stuck in the jet, or dehydration, but I started feeling hot and nauseous and was just dying to be back on the ground. After about 45 minutes or so of circling around, the lovely intense feeling of the jet's wheels hitting solid earth made contact, jarring my body with satisfaction. As we were taxiing to the gate, I whipped out my cell phone (as I always do during this time on the countless number of flights I have been on) to notify my fiance and my parents that I have finally returned home.

Before I knew it, I was being reprimanded like an 8 year old child. Standing in front of me was a tall blonde-haired, blue-eyed German Lufthansa flight attendant telling me yelling at me in her thick German accent: "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE CELL PHONES HERE. YOU KNOW THAT."

Way to be nice about it. First of all, as I have mentioned before, I ALWAYS call people when we are taxiing to the gate. Never ONCE has a flight attendant lectured at me, yelled at me, or asked me nicely to please put my phone away.

Second of all: SERIOUSLY? You're going to YELL at me for using my cell phone after being stuck on this godforsaken piece of metal for almost 9 hours? You can't even ask me politely or tell me nicely that cell phone use is not allowed until we actually reach the gate?

Lufthansa, you SUCK for hiring mean flight attendants. Thanks for making my traveling experience get to the point where I was more thankful than ever to just get the hell home. FAIL!